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I was awake for the whole day and I had to finish it. So I became drowsy at times and I just needed to...make words.
Who cares how stupid it sounded.
I slept at 5:00 am...Didnt wanna make my parents think I was up all night and woke up at 7:00 am.
Sooooooo tired. Yet, here I am. Posting again.
My next title would be called
"My LOVE endures"
hope to see you soon.
-YA~HA!
- Mood:
lazy
For my comeback entry, I chose to write about "My love"
(dont worry...It's not abour boring ol' me. I still am doing my trademark "human interest" entries.)
No...It's simpler than you think. It isnt something about passion and dreams and world peace.
This one's simple. MY LOVE. My girl.
(just read and stuff. dont ask why it's talking about my girl. the "human interest" part comes later.)
I've met a ton of girls in my lifetime. I think it's normal to me. And I try to be modest about it coz honestly, and not in a pretend-humble way, I dont find anything in me attractive, but some of the girls I met in my life,they get attracted to me in some way and I dont know why. I even avoid being liked. It's not that of an awesome experience. The way I react to it? "huh?" "you're kidding, right?" "you must be joking"
Some of the intro words I say after being confessed upon.
Who cares about those past events anyway?
Out of all the girls I met...In my life...I have never been struck by the words, "I like you", "I want to be with you", "it's you"
that kind of crap. I have NEVER EVER FALLEN IN LOVE FOR A GIRL. Even kids admit to that(though we call it puppy love.) but I didnt.
Sure, I might have said that I had a crush on someone. But I didnt look for that person all over the place. Picture that person even in the darkness of something something....No one has struck me.
And most people say that LOVE needs no reason. (i guess players usually say that to the one they're fooling. that's what kevin- a friend said.) But I think they say that, coz they dont really know why they're in love. And maybe they're fooling themselves by calling it LOVE. WELL I'm not fooling myself. I have a reason. I know why I'm in love.
...............*pause*.....breathe....
"Her name was Tara. She was an ordinary girl. She was really small...short. But I found her really pretty. I didnt know why.
Even though I had this so-called crush on her friend, Michelle. I felt bad coz I was thinking that she was prettier than Michelle.
And again...I didnt understand that. What was with her? She seemed really kind. I wanted to talk to her.
*sigh* what life...Finally. I had spoken to her. It was out first time to talk. Yet...I was already playing tag with her.(in a way)
I walked her home. I was happy...For some reason...I watched her as she disappeared inside the gate. I was looking forward to seeing her again.
We became closer and closer on each encounter. I was sitting by her in the bus...(which later on became our permanent seat)
She introduced me to her bestfriend Jackie. and yup...I embarrassed myself and acted like a weirdo again like always did. But it was strange. All those times I wanted to act like a fool....To keep people away. That time...I was afraid that she might think wrong of me...I was afraid that someone might think wrong of me...But then...She spoke to me once more as if it was nothing. I was really happy because of this.
*slap face* I realized I was wanting more of her. I wanted to see her. I had a complete attendance in class that year because I was determined to see her everyday. I dreamed of her. I always wanted to be with her. I always looked for her in a crowd of her batchmates. I wanted to pass by her classroom for no reason just to see her. It was the first time I wanted so much of a girl.
I shared many things to her. I even made her a heroine in majority of my novels back then. Warrior mage girl, Childhood love, Basketball trainee...hehe. I began to wake up. It was reality. It felt good. I was really....Finally....In love. As no one else struck my heart. She did. Only one of the reasons why I love her."
--Excerpt from a page down memory lane.
(You should read the next entries that involve "MY LOVE". I bet I could fill up a book).
I dunno what you can learn from this. I just felt like writing about how I fell in love, I guess.
In my mind...I was wondering...How many love stories are there in the world?
Are they as happy as mine? Are there lots of people hurt. You see...I feel really happy with my relationship. I love my girlfriend.
I see us married in a few years....That's why....I'm one of the lucky ones. I dont know if there people out there getting hurt by the lies, the jealousy, the lust and all that. I'm happy....I dont want to be the only one happy if people are unhappy.
I blend around people. I'm well rounded in some occasions. I get around alot. And I really hate listening to my friends..talking about girls that I KNOW. And they only plan to use them for pleasure.
There were really times that I want to warn mt girl friends about what the guys are planning...But I really wouldnt want to betray their trust. But I really wouldnt want people to get hurt and used.
What would you do?
If I only had more courage.
If I will have that...No one would get hurt no more. And everyone else will get the kind of love I have.
And everyone else will get that love. I wish...
-More soon. YA~HA!
- Location:dead
- Mood:YA~HA
- Music:sleepy
There were three friends who promised each other..that they would change the world for the better good.
One died. One turned to the dark side and one stands...Still living and continuing his fight. THE END
Okay...Sub story done....
I'm not as childish as people think I am. Childish dreams....Sure...Childish dreams like "changing the world", "greatest teacher in the world"...The likes...Those childish dreams are made because childish dreams are the dreams needed to actually do something to change the world.
Sincerity, like a child. The will to push through, no options, just one simple, honest answer. They say my goals wont do anything for me...It's okay...I dont plan anything with myself. I just want to do something for people.
Again, i'm not as childish as you think. I've seen(not tried the things) the world as it is. I've been tracked and followed. I've gathered information. I've gone close to being stabbed. I've had a gun pointed at me.
But I've never really seen drugs before. LOL.
Point is, I got to those parts of society, with a reason. I'm not some gun totting street kid looking for someone to rob, or just mess around the city...I went deep...I wanted to do something. To stop the bad things that have been happening around.
I've been slapped by reality... "You're just an ordinary kid. There's nothing you can do. Even if you change one part , you cant change everything."
I said to reality, "Well, at least I made a difference for that one part. and it'll grow, somehow. Besides, I dont consider myself as ordinary. I have extraordinary dreams...I cant let ordinary things like reality stop me."
Well, I dint go all out and be somekind of super hero of the night. I just go out and patrol. And fight those who I can match up to. But I never leave someone in danger. that's for sure. even if I get shot...Innocent people dont need to get hurt.
Nobody should get hurt anymore.
- Location:under the sea
- Mood:
yaha
(Actually, Svants named it)...Our team is called...CONDOMS. Because one classmates of ours inflated this condom in class and started passing it around.
The afternoon was already turning into night. Score was tied 0-0.
We held our line. The play was nice and simple. Take the ball and run.
And like our rules said...2nd half is tackle time.
Set Hut Hut HIKE! Ken passed the ball to Mike and handed it to me. I was playing running back on that play. (Tight end position~WOOT!)
I just ran like heck and made the first touchdown of that tiring game. I made the difference.
1-0 and there was still time for the team to counter. They advanced and amazingly, due to our poor defense...They had a 40 yard gain with a stoppage by me at the end. on their 3rd down, I stopped Jeffrey from making the touch and Mike stopped Svants from making the touch on the last down. It ended with an interception by mark and handing it to me...And I was downed...END GAME!
Amazingly...I made a difference. I'm not being arrogant...please forgive me. I'm just proud that for once I was the star.
Not Mike's or Svants' or Josh's or Hiro's.
And we won, despite the fact that the other team had the seniors' strongest line.
I have a nice speechie topic tomorrow.Stay tuned. My mom allowed me one post.
And I wanted to post this, coz the feeling of achievent might die down tomorrow. I brought home the game ball.
YAHA!
Dang. I'm happy today.
Just...please dont think that this is turning into somekinda weird personal stuff blog.
Just for once. Yey.
I've seen too much suffering. Why doesn't anyone care? Why do people let it be that way.
The people in this world...Are dying of hunger. Yet...Enough food is made to feed twice the world population.
the environment is changing too..the world will die...
the youth...the current generation has filled itself with stupid influences from stupid media that show a cliche of a story but is really subconsciously polluting minds with drugs, sex, alcohol and crap like that. It's sickening.
The people today are sickening.
Some people should really take the sayings by our grandparents, "Back in our days..." seriously.
The current generation is sickening. And people I know, people I love, and people I swore to serve and protect...Are part of this evil.
Im ashamed for them.
I think in an old school goody two shoes way. I dont care, criticize me. The fact that I want to rebuild the world's purity...Is something.
This generation...Is tainted.
I was struck by this comment on my previous post, "the world cant change"
And I wanna prove to everyone that it still can. And it's a bit of a cliche thing to say, "it'll start with us." coz we say that...
And we rely on the other parts of the "US" bargain and we dont move.
So, I'm saying it now.
I WILL CHANGE THE WORLD.
It's my stand, not anyone else's. And if someone thinks low of this or how I cant do it...I'll prove them wrong like I always do.
(BTW...attention. Personal life thing. not important.= I scored three 99+s(excellents) in the NCAI apptitude test and a few 95, 96, 97, and 80+s for the other parts. sucky at math coz I was lazy and used luck. I'm proud. )
So, it's up to me and anyone who wants to join my cause. I'll change this world if I have to do it myself.
But then, like I said, this world is tainted. I cant change it as it is...
So I shall work on the next generation.
That's why I want to be a teacher.
To save the next generation from all the crap we're doing.
anti media influences, anti alcohol influences or smoking or sickening partying(you know the ones)...for minors. Well...yeah.
What's so good about bad things anyway.
Though, you may say these are good...REALITY CHECK...Deep inside you know what they are!
Alcohol makes you drunk . face it...IT DOESNT SOLVE ANYTHING but makes you go beating your wife's ass out.
smoking kills your lungs. kids nowadays use it to look cool.
partying(you know what kinds) destroys your purity.
media influences makes us dress stupidly, act stupidly, follow the wrong fads...make us superficial.
the world suffers from hunger and we know it. wars...racism...gangs...mobs...
I know alot of people who are involved/ were involved. they sicken me. but i forgive them. they are the reasons why I want to change this world. I dont want my next generation of children to be like this.
And if I have to do it on my own. Even if I have to die for this cause. Even if Im stoned to death for people who say, "these are good"
and even if i'm called old school styled freak..so be it.I'll fight for this cause
. this is my resolve.
- Location:In the stadium talking about world peace
- Mood:
oh yes. a new mission. - Music:bullet for my valentine-hand of blood
I didnt want that to go on my record.
It was too personal and irrational. It wasnt me. So I'm good.
The topic for today is...JUDGING.
there are a lot of biases in this world. some of those biases are made because we judge others too soon.
some people...see a bunch of ruffians and think...they're all evil. Some see really smart people and think...they're all good.
OTHER WORDS-stereotypes.
I guess we should all let go of stereotyping. Stereotyping will make us not like people-out of assumptions.
I'm frustrated on how the school picks people who have high grades to be the ones who represent the school in some talent contest.
Just because some people have high grades doesnt make them as talented. And just because people have low grades doesnt mean we should not consider their amazing IQs. Point is, some of us get judged too soon and they put us in a classification.
They're noisy in class...They cant do anything good.
they're smart...they're dorks.
they're basketball/football stars...they're meatheads or dumb...or something.
People really need to take their time to look behind the covers. I hang around with people in school...And some of them arent judged accordingly. Just because people are ruffians and pick on fights doesnt mean they're mean. Some of them are absolutely good and some of them have something to protect.
Some people get ranked as top students and people think they're all work...Then...Why does one of my friends have a trophy for somekinda varsity thing for volleyball.
stop stereotyping. it'll do no good. you'd miss meeting amazing people...
you'd miss the geeky girl who dances well in ballet and hiphop. or the quarterback who's a closet poet.
or the dancer who is a computer genius or a hot girl was kiddy and hyper and kind.
let's not judge. forget stereotypes.
I got to see different lives. I love being everyone's ally. ^^
I'm a hypocrite coz I sometimes judge. But only because I judge justly. LIKE THE PERSON I HATE...I put him in the classification of crap which plays on girls and crap like that. IT isnt even good looking. Playboy crap should eat a shoe with nails attached to it. Whee. VICTORY! anti IT fanclub.
- Location:the world of happy fun land
- Mood: peacefully safe
- Music:PPR
Stupid ass wanna be cool shit.......................
They are my enemies. Most especially IT. He stole what was/is mine and what was he? JUST STUPID CRAP WHO TRIES TO LOOK COOL AND who uses FAD styles and CRAP LIKE THAT. Hate hate hate. And I hate it when IT gets defended coz he was fucky..oh, did I say fucky? I meant funny...and he's a lot of fuck...i meant fun. and he plays around with girls and people just fall for that.....
STUPID SHITTY CRAPPY ASSHOLE. If I hear that stupid thing's name...or any complements WHATEVER...I swear I'll storm out of where ever I am.
My apologies. I dont swear. Except when I get so mad. When I'm swearing...I'm enraged.
that's why i hate myself for being that. i want to be kind. i want to be NOT mad...EVEN when things about IT come.
I'm a jealous person. I hate myself for that. I want to be good.
To the one who understands what im talking about...DONT REACT. It'll make things worse.
(this is my first and last time that I'll lose my temper on an entry....please ...anyone...please dont think wrong of me. I dont swear and I dont get urges to kill. I am kind...If anyone wants to know what I'm talking about...Please message me and I'll reply privately.)
- Location:Dark hole
- Mood: DIE "it"
- Music:Sing for the moment
So, there I was, lecturing. And this person caught my eye...
Mr.Pedro Diaz....A guitarist senior. He was there listening to my lecture.
"Pipoy(as he was normally called), what are you doing here?", I asked.
"Learning the basics, duh" ,he replied.
"You are better than me you know. Why dont you lecture us?", I asked...or did I tease...i forgot. :D
"Nah", he shook his head, "I want to learn the basics again coz I'm not some arrogant fool who'll let my guard down just because he's reached the top. Now, continue Dre."
Those words shook my head, gave me a slap of...super special awesomeness.
that's why there's a quote for this, "Like the apples, those that are ripened fall down on the ground ready to rot. While those that are not yet ripe take their time to grow"
Talent, skill, wealth, power, will always make us arrogant. Those who never forget the basics in life and humble themselves will not fall. Neither will they fail. For masters put themselves above us...While we who train under them...With hard work, we will be able to exceed them.
I'll never admit that I am great. I'm fine being unripe. I have so many things to learn....
My passion is greatness...But I will never admit that I am a great person.
If I do...I put myself higher than others.And that isnt such a great deed.
And those arrogant ones will fall to me in time.
I've been put down by the world's nastiest people...
So I asked them back, "Are you guys perfect? If so, then that's the time you put me down"
- Location:Soccer field using a friend's wireless internet laptop thing
- Mood: let's play ball!
- Music:Strawberry shortcake-Cuppy cake song
"I can't let myself lose from wounds that would knock a NORMAL person out! I can't let myself die from wounds that would kill a NORMAL person! In order to beat the one who isn't normal, I can't be normal myself!!! !!! NOW do you understand how much heavier my fists are? I bet you're satisfied, Andre Chan Boy...!! "
"THERE IS A TIME!!! WHEN A MAN... MUST NOT RUN... FROM A FIGHT... !!! THAT TIME IS WHEN HIS FRIEND'S DREAMS ARE LAUGHED AT!!!! andre won't die. I KNOW he'll be the the greatest one day. AND I WON'T LET YOU LAUGH AT THAT!!!!"
WHEN do you think people die...? When their heart is pierced by a bullet from a pistol...? No. When they succumb to an incurable disease...? No. When they drink soup made with a poisonous mushroom...? NO!!! IT'S WHEN A PERSON IS FORGOTTEN...!!! EVEN IF I DISAPPEAR, my dream will come true. The ailing hearts of the people will be cured...!!
(constantly punching Andre.)
Hitting you doesn't work, so I have to stab you, right ?!
Okay...those are parts of my old blog. They're really striking. That's why they're cool...If people could use some of these principles...the world will be a happy place. Well...except for the last part.
EDIT:i was bored and sleepy when i made this post...
I have an evil topic coming. Please wait for it tomorrow guys
They often get treated as mere "sex objects".
Guys see a hot girl passing by, and the only thing on their minds is how to undress her.
Where's respect?
The reason why I'm posting about this...Because I have my own lover.
And I see guys staring at her and I wanna rip their arms off. Why? Coz she's beautiful and guys just picture out sex in her.
That's why I want girls to be respected because I have a lover and I dont want her disrespected.
And most guys think that why I'm with her...Is just because she's beautiful...You know...People who dont know our story yet.
Guys even go to me and say, "Dude, she's hot...If you get tired, give her to me, okay?"
DUDE FRUCK NO! *i dont swear:)*
girls, are not to be treated as objects that we can pass around. Girls...Are not just sex objects...girls do not deserve to get played around with. Coz I'd never do that to my lover...And I wish that there would be guys that would treat their lovers the way i treat mine...coz seriously...i hate to see girls cry because of stupid jerks...
That's why I hate hearing, "let's go look for girls" or,"let's pick up some girls"
coz those statements show that you're a play boy...and those statements shows that you'll go for the attractive ones.
that's why i always recommend the "start as best friends" relationship. coz guys who just pick girls up are jerks....
But why do girls fall for jerks in the first place? hehe
...Some girls DO act wildly and even start the stupid crazy things.
These girls...They're the ones who go strip at parties. Do things like go drinking and smoking...(im against vices, so yeah)
In the first place, girls shouldnt be the ones to do those. Those things are for men....
Seriously...Stop thinking of how girls should be independent and all and think about the women's purity.
I
guess...The reason why GUYS treat GIRLS like sex objects...Is because of the presence of porn AND BECAUSE...
maybe girls wanna be treated that way. Giving hints like...Come get me by having really short skirts...But guys think, "ooh..Does her panties show?"
So basically, sometimes it's the girls' fault. If they wouldnt dress that way then guys would think less of them as sluts.
That's why I'd prefer my lover to go on a date with me wearing a conservative attire than really hot outfits.
well...Another reason is...women's lib...independence...stop it...the girls really shouldnt be doing these dirty things....
NO MATTER HOW CHILDISH I MAY SOUND but..it's wrong...so it's BAD! And just because women wanna equal men doesnt mean they have to do the bad things men do. The reason why guys only think of girls as sex objects...is because girls let them in easily.
Parties...vices...and the likes...girls shouldnt be doing these if they dont wanna be treated as sluts....
No matter how you might tell me, "it's my way of living. let me do these things"
REALITY...it's wrong.
- Location:in the carseat of dooooom..REMEMBER...IN the carseat...
- Mood:Bounce
- Music:Awake-seconhand
I sometimes...feel sad....
I see people on the streets....
Poverty...What is it? Why is it so powerful that we cant fight it?
Dig deep...dig deep...
All dreams humanly possible, are already half fulfilled. Yesterday's low-tech "communicating through a TV" idea...was made..
The moon was explored...Mars...we have plans to go there....
We've explored to many parts of the universe...invented many things...but did we solve the simplest human problem yet?
Poverty. Yes, you know what I mean.
We cant solve this problem...probably because some of us are arrogant...and too busy to care...or too busy sulking on our own money.
I was born in the higher-middle class section of society. Under higher-middle class circumstances...Kinda like tara.
But I never felt that comfy with our life. it is still soooo busy...
probably coz my parents were raised in poverty. So they made me understand that even if we have the power to gain everything...we wont coz they want us to learn how to take care of ourselves. that's why we learn chores.
sometimes....i despise the upper class people that i know. Some , okay.
Because while they own the world...None of them reach in... when our teachers ask them for donations for an orphanage or something...they do it for the grades..or parents forced them to..or they'd happily give...but when given the situation to be with people of lesser fortune than us...they all say "eww...gross"
But people who were born from poverty and aimed high to gain everything...some people like that, i admire.......
How they never forget to go back. heck, i know a father of one of my classmates... CEO...at home, eats with his hands.(he came from poverty too)
Though it may sound funny...I admire that guy...For not forgetting where he used to belong.
Like I said...I despise some upperclass people...They would never have the courage to go to some squatters area and give food.
Take it like this....
Usually, rich people talk about their something something louie something sandals....their gucci something something bags...
they're superspecialawesome perfume set...their gowns and clothes....and their trip to the country club...
I get disgusted hearing that shpit. I hear those...and i almost said....
WHO CARES!
to their faces..people...like them...who want the best things in life..are disgusting. SELFISH.
No topic about how to save people from poverty here...Just plain...fashion...bags...shoes...
Oh please...that's boring crap...what can you get from stupid names anyway...it's still the same thing..you need shoes to walk...and no matter how expensive or cheap it is...it just ends up under our feet...muddy....
Having the best things in life...Blah....i'm disgusted...What's the point in living your life to the fullest if you wont have nothing good to do...
Not that i hate rich people... but i get disgusted with rich people who sulk on their greed..and NOT caring at all....
Does this topic strike you? Tell me if it does...
We all become greedy at times. I admit...
Okay, your turn :D
- Location:under the monster tree
- Mood:
haha - Music:shaka labbits-that thing you do
SEVEN THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
1Break up
2.Betrayal
3. fajah...father.
4. Myself when I lose control and have the murdering urge
5. Dora teh movie
6. Hell
7. No Tara
SEVEN THINGS YOU LIKE THE MOST
1. Tara
2. Drums
3. Guitars
4. Manga/Anime
5. Pokemon...dang...i still cant get over it
6. Silence
7. My bed
SEVEN IMPORTANT THINGS IN YOUR ROOM
1. Nothing
2. Pen.
3. Paper.
4. Pencil
5. Guitar
6. Flute
7. DVDs of almost anything
SEVEN RANDOM FACTS ABOUT YOU
1. I hate vices
2. I practice real hard to beat people even if its just your everyday race to the canteen
3. I encourage everyone to work as a team but i dont join in
4. I enjoy humiliating myself for the sake of making people laugh.
5. Im so lazy...We had this project and i had to finish it......but because i was too lazy to write my name...i didnt.
6. i never shed tears in front of anyone else but tara
7. i still have those childish dreams and act them out...like being a pirate something...
SEVEN THINGS YOU PLAN TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Be in shounen jump
2. At least make one album that could touch lives
3. Be the greatest teacher in the world
4. Marry the woman of my dreams...
5. Be the president of a big company then quit coz i'm lazy
6. Be at par with the best fighters i know...i want to spar with manny pacquiao someday
7. get flagged in you tube.
SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN DO
1. Prove people wrong
2. Love with everything i've got
3. Manipulate people to think im a good neutral person when im already gathering info.
4. i can use my anger to up my strength by 30 times. tested and proven...sad...i barely get angry
5. i can do anything when im interested...too bad im not interested in school
6. have long speeches for topics on the spot
7. Make a fool of myself. (can relate here JAckie)
-i stop here..Im gonna update later...this sucks...my one hour time limit is over...the rest down there...well, they're not mine. they're by my super special awesome sister like bestfriend of my wife...Jackie! whee!-i'll update later. im afraid this might be deleted and not saved if i did close it.
SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN'T DO
1. Be nice for extended periods of time.
2. Write a perfect news article.
3. Break a finger on purpose.
4. Look at open wounds without feeling grossed out.
5. Kill a person.
6. Rape a man.
7. Break Tara and Andre up.
SEVEN THINGS THAT ATTRACT YOU TO THE OPPOSITE SEX
1. Looks.
2. Wit.
3. Principles.
4. Loyalty & commitment.
5. Sense of humor.
6. Bad boy appeal (?) lol.XD
7. The fact that he's taken, apparently. (Dylan will most likely agree)
SEVEN THINGS YOU SAY THE MOST
1. WTF/WTH/and other variants.
2. ORLY?
3. Seriously?
4. Bang.
5. Woot.
6. Hui/Ui.
7. I need to do a little evil. I've been too nice.
SEVEN CELEB CRUSHES
1. Patrick Dempsey. (yes, he's old)
2. Jason Dohring. (also old)
3. James Marsters. (he's old now too)
4. Christian Bale.
5. Johnny Depp.
6. I think I'll stick with Orly. Orlando Bloom.
7. Anthony Hopkins. (don't ask)
SEVEN PEOPLE YOU WANT TO SEE TAKE THIS TEST
1. Lalynn...niya...XD I don't know a lot of LJ people, lol.
2. Chartre? ^^
3. Ache Laurianne
4. Deche Kaye
5. JJ (or is it AHIA JJ?=p)
6. Dre (lol)
7. Uh...random. Orlando Bloom. Ngek. I know, KEN FRIEND!!:)
Thanks to Tara coz at least the font looks nice enough. I'm normally too lazy to change the font, hehe.^^ma
What am I talking about? hehe
It's the heart...I cant describe it right now...But I think what I mean by "the heart"
is what people have that compels them to move forward and have the strength to change the world..
The world lost its heart.
Why?
I dont know either....But let's have a look at the samples now....
In the music industry...When was the last time you heard a song that changed your life(not regarding emo...that's just bullspit)?
That turned you into a better person? That made you realize that you had to do something?
There was a time...where music used to be simple and heartfelt. That's why I'm more into the retro music than the "new age"
Not saying that I dont listen to whatever's there... But i really think that what they're singing is empty.
Music has been all about having the best in life...telling people how they're all "fabulous". if not that then we have the types of music that tell kids to get a gun and shoot their parents or have them slash their wrists for reasons such as "break ups"(too shallow man. there are more people with MORE problems and they dont end their lives just like that)
some songs tell you about the "beauty of drugs" and being independent and stuff like, "i dont need a man...yadayada"
if not that kind of music, we have music that tell people about selfish things like, "im a gangster...yada yada...i shoot people...blabla i do this and that" or music that tell people that women are all whores... Which i hate so much....
The old days where most of the songs, even if they were the loudest out there(e.g Bon Jovi), even if it was your old country music (john denver)...or even so rebellious, it had some sense that it came from people thirsting for freedom(Bob Marley)Every piece composed touch hearts....
Tell me...If you dig deep down....Even if you love the songs of today...none really touch your hearts....
I'm not saying that all songs have no meaning. I know that there are singers..bands..that still have the power to touch lives...not in an emo sense.
But seriously...Where is the heart?
In the sports area....
When was the last time you saw a player train like the MJ? If not Lebron then...who else?
Athlete's of today care more about money than the actual love of the sport....
Why did i think that?
I saw this episode of punk'd and..being a hidden camera show and all...they show you what people's REAL attitudes are like...
And I forgot which player that was...If not nba then mustve been ncaa coz I never heard of him before.
It showed him having some kind of "from the hood"-ish attitude.
I guess everyone forgot about the heart...
IF it would make people feel better to know i still have the heart for things....
I'll be that musician and athlete with the "heart"
to let everyone know that hope is not lost....there are few who still live...
I'll color later
- Location:Under my chair
- Mood: Optimism
- Music:HAruka Kanata
I cant blame myself for waking up...I AM still grounded after all...I'm bad....
"if light is good then why does it blind you? if darkness is bad then why does it hide you?"
I was really sad. Coz...When I was younger...I used to be top 1 always. It really meant a lot to my parents....
But when I started 5th grade my grades crumbled....hehe...I was with the wrong people i guess...
Back then when I used to be good...
I got back on my ground again...junior year...determined to be salu...I slipped up and now I cant be. haha. in the final judgment thingy I was top 2 anyways...so I dont mind....
intelligence aint always about grades...and im tired of people telling me that im not good enough coz I'm having bad grades. they judge too much....Sorta part of my reasons why I want to be a teacher.
and im tired of hearing people telling me that i was top 1 in the past because lessons were easy...getting top 1 wasnt easy...
not to mention rivalries....Yeah...I already had rivals when i was 7.
i hate being underestimated...it doesn't matter coz i always end up proving them wrong...WHAT hurts the most is when your loved ones underestimate you.
they've always been there for you...know your potentials...see through the surface...or so i thought...
They dont know ShPit! (i dont swear...sorry) that goes for anyone there who thinks they're a level higher than me just because they're in the honors list...and i'm not...
though i accept nina as a much more diligent person than me...that's why she's top 1.
I want to have fun too...And I cant do that if i take life too seriously...
NOW...
tell me im half-assed and dumb...I'll let you eat your words.......and prove you wrong........
*cool down* I'm sorry...I get in fire mode when I remember being underestimated..............
Dre terms-fire mode-Heated up with determination or hatred...Either one.
- Location:Under the where? Underwhere? Underwear?
- Mood:
Whee...im made - Music:Hikari E
(or being realistic...Read well)
coz this will be one of the few times I talk about parts of my life story.
Coz I think that my life all boring..Well, I'm posting it coz it's traumatic. TRAUMATIC.
And I want to share what I learned after it...
It dates back to 2005. I was a sophomore of my school. I was batch head of randomness...(not serious)
And I was the class head for 2 years straight. (SERIOUS)
I headed the class. I protected it. I taught them what it was like to have brotherhood. I cared for them.
After all, I have the mafioso spirit. When I was head of class...I never brought my people down.
I never taught them the wrong deeds...I went to them when they needed me...
Im no push over either. So, if anyone dared to challenge my position...They had to fight me and I never lost..
I had respect.
I was a good leader i guess.
I selected 6 people to be my top officers.
<this is seriously sounding like a mafia...But yeah...>
They were my most trusted friends...But in the end...
They betrayed me.....
They formed their own groups and told me that my leadership was too compassionate.
And I couldnt fight back..
This is my weakness...I can fight anyone...except my friends..
So I let them go their own way... I resigned as class head....
And the class formed their own groups...
I was alone. With one of the 6 guys...my best friends...
But for everyone else...Once I was out of my place...
Everyone one went their separate ways...
Some started drinking...some already were after prostitutes...some smoked....
And mind you, we were only 14 at this point of time..............
Because of this trauma...I resent all vices........I hated my lover because she did one of the things I hate...
But that's not the point because I love her too much to hate her.
The thing that absolutely broke my heart was when I distanced myself away from them.
But they approached me and said, "We wont always need you..."
Yeah...I know...But I treated them as my brothers...And I dont want them to go to harms way...
(Hon, if you're reading this.......Then now you know how I got my possesive personality)
The worst part of this.......Was when one of the 6 I chose to lead the class...Went out to join gangsters....
Woah...... His reasons... <gang as in...you know...official gangsters...like boods...crips...the likes>
1.I want an I.D
2.I want friends
3.I want to belong
(that was the point of time where gangsters were the FAD thing)
And the school was against these gangs and frats at our age...
So the school had to investigate on these...And my friends...Were part of the people who were found out to be part of gangs...
I was distressed..like I said...I didnt want them to go to harms way...I did what I could to prevent my brothers to be in trouble. I went to their gang leader.......And asked them myself to let my classmates off the gang list.
hehe...here's the sad part...He agreed as long as I survive 5 minutes of beating up. and those who beat me up were no ordianry guys...they were big...and I went home with so much bruises that I could barely walk...
But the saddest part about it was...My brothers...My class...thought I was the one who gave the list of those who joined gangs to the authorities....
And they hated me for that...But I didnt explain anything...I didnt wanna look like a hero...
After all...that time...I was no class head no more...........
And in the end...I had to move out and transfer to another school.
They put me into too much pain...And I treated them like my family....
After all that...I transfered to another school...I transformed from an authoritative fool...to the class clown. It was much better that way....
I didnt trust anyone then...I had too much of a trauma to treat anyone as family. I keep only a few people close...
but i dont give myself fully...i dont trust people with my life anymore...in fear that they might betray me...
I want to be this true friend that anyone can depend on...but I see no one worthy of it.
hehe. BUT past is past...So, let it be....
haha...
*Edit^: Yeah...That's why I always have a "Past is past" personality and the "that didnt happen" personality...
Up until now...I still believe what you said wasnt true. hehe...I WILL NOT BELIEVE
Im all nostalgic...Dang...The pain is coming back
- Location:In the office of the mafia room
- Mood:
nostalgia.. - Music:hoshizora no shita de(maaan this is so over and over again-ish)
"if the sea is blue, if you get a cup of seawater, it's either greenish or clear-Why?"
Alright, I'm here to talk about REAL FRIENDS, FITTING IN, AND GROUPS
fitting in...let me say
WE DONT NEED THAT!
People nowadays want to go all "Fitting in", instead of being their true selves. People lose their identity to join groups. Just for the pleasure of fitting in.
Fitting in...Always one of our weakness.
But let me tell you...If you have to conform with their standards to be their friends...STAY AWAY FROM THEM.
Real friends would accept the real you and wouldnt have you following their style if it meant you losing your identity.
Friends accept you for who you are... And lead you to right things.
I'm digusted with some of my friends who went through certain extents just to fit in...Even lost their chastity to it.
We are free to be whatever we want. We hang with the people who are like us...
Not people who direct us who we want to be.
TOPIC 2
WE dont need groups
I always see people who hang around in groups...Rockers, Hip-hop guys, rich kids, the fab girls, and evil goth people..they're fun to look at...I laugh at groups.
Not that I dont have one...I have a group...
aand this group i have is
EVERYONE IN CLASS
Nothing happens if we're in groups. Nothing productive will happen. Groups will send us divided. And divided we cannot show our true potential as one whole community. That's why I have no cliques or groups. I hang around with everybody and always hint in the word UNITY with the other groups.
I'm called everyone's ally...Coz everyone can talk to me. I feel like the only bridge of unity my class has.
And I wont stop till we are united.
truth is...I cant express what I fully feel because...of pressure...I'm late for class again....
I'll update later. :D
- Location:Inside out
- Mood:
sick - Music:Mutron--SHakalabbits
"The nice thing about egoists:they dont talk about people"
yeah yeah. I ALWAYS start with a random(and stupid) quote.
I was just pondering on things when I was taking a ride back home from school.
I get misunderstood in class. they call me a wacko.^^ well, not really. sorta.
well, it's not actually an insult. It's more like, teasing me.
Why?
Coz I'm hyper and child-like (oooh...You must know the differences of childish and child-LIKE)
They know my potentials so I dont mind them calling me child-like.
Well, I explained it to them... "Youth will NEVER EVER come back"
It's okay to be a kid right now. We'll all grow up. We go to college and then some.
We can never go back to the days when we play tag and hide and seek and play in dirt.
Let's be realistic. We're all slowly dying. But far from that-we're growing up.
So at this point of time-I'm still young. I want to use my youth for youth.
That's why I get annoyed with people who take life too seriously. They ACT like they're all adults. Well, they're not.
When they cant do anything anymore...then they'll all regret.
"I wish I played tag with Jim." or something.
It's been fun. Remembering my dad carrying me around. Remembering days when I used to play under the rain.
But will they come back when we grow old?
Nope. No dad to carry you when you're 30. And you'd be too busy for work to play in the rain.
Let's not waste our youth. After all...Youth comes only in 1/4 of our life. It's gonna be a big regret if we dont use it.
But there's a counter quote for this...
"youth is a wonderful thing. But who said it was only for the young? hehe^^ "
Enjoy youth.
While it lasts. *evil*
(to those who're surprised coz it doesnt have much color...I was in a hurry for class. I'll color later)
- Location:Inside a cave
- Music:shakalabbits-Go!
"Hey smartypants...Tell me, what's the speed of dark?" hehe^^
I up early. Coz I'm grounded and am not supposed to use the P.C. but I'm the absolutely disobedient type. hehe. *evil* If they found out Im up...Well...I might die. hehe ^^
I'm posting to tell you about my desire to teach. i AM graduating after all.
You know what kinds of comments I got when I mentioned that?
My parents said, "Take up nursing. Or engineering. Or law or medicine. Teacher is a smallfry job"
same thing as my friends told me...
True. I admit I have all the potential to become a great lawyer, doctor, anything. -that's what my apptitude test said-Why teacher?
I want to become a teacher...for passion. I dont really need money. Not that I'm rich or anything, but I'm worried about low income. I'm in it for passion. i want to teach for kids.
I want to bring good in the youth...My generation is really sucky. And I dont want the next generation to suffer.
I want to be there and protect them. To any extent.
Even die for them.
The next generation of kids will determine our future...I want them to be trained well. I want to help.
Even if I lose my life for this cause... And I will not rest until my students learned something from me.
I will be THE REVOLUTIONARY teacher.
I know, maybe, some of you guys may hate teachers because they treat you badly and stuff...
They judge you by your grades...Not see your potential because youre only slacking off.
Well, here's a thing...I wont be THAT kind of teacher. I will be my students' bestfriend. I will treat them well and respect them and even if the world would be against them, as their teacher, I'll protect them.
Some teachers would be so selfish to say, "Class, behave! I dont wanna get fired."
To hell with that. I'm not that kind of person.
I'm the type of guy who slacks off in class...Sleeps..Teachers often underestimate me because I dont do well in class. That's just coz I'm lazy. But my friends know my skills..So I probablly can relate to my students.
And I get along with everyone in class...And in parts of my class...I have friends who are considered bad-asses...
But spending time with them made me see that they are only misunderstood...Which made me understand...That I shall never judge directly...
I want to give my all and be everything for my kids...A certain pride..will spark, if ever they become successful.
Small things, huh?
Thanks for reading.
*just my spelling checked. I was sleepy. Sorry if I had wrong grammar or something.*
- Location:inside the wall of fire
- Mood: laaaaazyyyyyyyy
